The Unbearable Love
／Evelyn O. Shih
There is a man who doesn't like to visit his mother because the mother still treats him as a little boy. She forces him to eat everything she has and cares only about whether he is wearing enough. He has a family anmd a high position on his job; but he can only be a little boy in front of his mother. He can't bear this kind of love.
There is another lady who is afraid of her mother's visits because the mother will arrive with small and big bags of food and takes over the cooking. This mother thinks that she is giving the whole family nutrition, not knowing that nobody likes her cooking, including her own daughter whose taste has changed through the years. They dare not to tell this mother; they only murmur to each other: "unbearable love."
We women are always keeping our motherly love with us, therefore, when we love someone, we'll mother him or her unintentionally. A moderate care or protection is good, yet if we overdo it, the caring becomes an unbearable love.
Once a friend and I went to a restaurant for lunch. When I said that I would like to try a certain dish, my friend immediately reminded me that it was not a good choice since I have high blood pressure and diabetes. I knew she meant well and she cared about my health, however, I felt that she had hurt my feelings for not respecting my freedom of choice. She could have said, "Mm, it's a new dish, I haven't tried before. I wonder whether they will prepare it well here." Then I might say, "In that case, I don't want to order it. It's no good for me anyway since I have high blood pressure and diabetes."
It turns out that love needs wisdom. The wisdom is to care about your loved one's self respect. You don't love people as you like it, you love them as they like it. Although the love comes from you, a wise person lets the receiver direct you how to love them.
Mothers! Put away your unbearable love and add wisdom to your love. Let your children enjoy your love in wisdom and wisdom in love.
