Car Manners
／Evelyn O. Shih
I recently received a request to talk about manners because it seems that nowadays nobody seems to care about them. Manners represent a person's upbringing. Parents should teach their children manners when they are very young, so when they grow up, they will have developed good habits in dealing with people.
Manners also represent one's respect for others. When you are not sure how to behave, just think about the other person's feelings and if you respect them, you can't go wrong.
Different cultures, however, have different manners. For example, Westerners consider that drinking soup noiselessly is good manners while Asians think that to drink soup with all kinds of noises is showing one's appreciation to the host. As another example, I remember when I was little, a missionary lost her temper because some girls stuck out their tongues at her. Actually we Chinese girls put out our tongues to show our fears, it had nothing to do with in respect.
As time goes by, manners also change. When I was young, we were taught to lower our heads and eyes when we talked to elders. Now, the elders will command you to look up and speak up. Another way manners change is with the development of new products.
The automobile is one such new product. Ownership of private cars has not been around very long in the scope of history, so we don't always know how to behave around this "new" thing. Thus, car manners are what I will discuss in this article.
Let's talk about the seats first. The front seat beside the driver belongs to the driver's spouse. If the spouse is not present, then one of the passengers should take it to show his / her respect; that is, not treating the driver as a chauffeur.
I recall one occasion when a pastor arrived to drive several elderly ladies to a church service. All the ladies crowded into the back seat, for they thought they were not worthy to sit side-by-side with the pastor.
On another occasion, a lady wanted to change seats with the pastor's wife. She said that she would get car sick if she sat in the back, however, it is not polite to ask for that favor unless the pastor's wife volunteers.
Another part of car manners concerns music. We all like to listen to music while we drive, however, when you have a passenger, you should turn off the music. This shows that you respect the other person's presence and also keeps the environment quiet for conversation.
I always feel disturbed and frustrated in a car with people talking and music blaring simultaneously. (At a time like that, even sacred music loses its effect.) In this case, where is the manner that while one person talks, the others should not interfere? We don't want all the occupants in the car dividing into two debate teams with loud background music as accompaniment.
Since riding in cars has become a part of our daily life, shouldn't we pay attention to our car manners in showing our respect and care for others?
